Saturday, April 04, 2009

Sometimes..

Life isn't as easy as i think. 
Especially after i return to school after my O's. 
Last year around April, I started schooling there, Meet up with people from different parts of Singapore.
Also, from April, I started with Exams after Exams. I'm tired now!
Even my family, cousins, aunts, etc keep on asking me,
" Why are you so busy with Exams? "

Is like, Disappointment after disappointment. I'm tired. 
No matter in the results or No matter in improvements. 
This few weeks, I've been thinking alot,
Of cause, preparing for my coming papers,
I feel so tired, preparing for papers after papers.
I ask myself million times, 
" What is wrong with myself? What am i doing? Is those i'm doing correct? What's wrong with my studying strategy? "
I tried so hard, Even that i didn't dare to work as a part timer,
As i am worried that i might just doze of on bed after work,
And sooner, lost interest in sudy.
This is one of the reason why i am still a student. But not, Working. 

I tired to focus, focus & still, Focus! But, after studying for 1 year, 
I only produce 4 modules passed,
And now, Just started remoduling. And there is alot more to go! 

I talk to, consulted some friends recently, 
Some in the working society, some studying, some slackers. Talking about my case, Should i preserve? 
There are many answer i heard. 
Is it worth? Not thinking about the love my family and friends is giving me, But, On the other part, Sometimes, I feel that god is making fun of me or so?
I feel like giving up. So feel like! 

On the other hand, i thought of my Mum, 
Who is unconditionally giving me the moral, monetary, and all the way support.

If change is what i need,
" Where should i start from? " 

& I ask myself, Is that piece of diploma worth for all my scarify?